The Great Mate Debate by Chemistry.com

Hello. I think the articles in your site are very interesting, you're talking about some controversial topics. I'm a girl on my late 20's, I'm single and I'm constantly asked when I'm gonna marry or have kids. I really hate it when they ask me that, seems like they're in a hurry to see me tide up to some guy I'm not even sure if I'm in love with. But see, the thing is that the older I get the more I know myself. What I mean is that I'm learning, day by day, the things I like to do, the goals I want to meet, the places I'd like to visit and the things I don't want in a relationship. Often I hear my married friends complaint about their relationships, then I think "This is why I don't want to get married yet", then I find myself giving them my opinion about their problems and I ussually hear the same thing "I have to do it for my kids", "My kids need both parents together". I'm against that, see, I think that if I was them, and had the same opinion as them, I would be cheating on my partner. If my husband wasn't able to make me happy I would go for it, but not without giving my best to fix the situation before. But I think that's an absurd. I beleive there's not enough room in our hearts to love two people at the same time. But since I'm not them, what I would do would be just talk it out with my husband, and just divorce. I think that kids who don't have to see their parents arguing or unhappy all the time are more possible to grow up happy, as well as the parents.

Also I hear people complainting about cheating partners, and making it general, I mean, they say: Guys always cheat, or viceversa, it depends obviously who the comment comes from, but ussually us girls are harder with guys, we use real bad words to judge guys..."All the man are the same" we say. I think WE are all the same. Not just for being a girl I have to be the victim, or because is a guy he has to be the guilty one. We are all responsible for what happens in our relationship: the cheater for not having the courage to tell their partner they're over it, and the "victims" for staying there, for letting the other one mistreat them. And children are always the ones that we blame it on... " I can't divorce because of my kids".

About dating younger or older people... I was always very attracted to older men. I thought they were so much smarter or more mature, more attractive, blah blah, blah. But I recently dated a guy who was very much older than me, and let me tell you, all those things just didn't apply to him. Sure, he's a very interesting person, we got alone real well, but still not what I expected. So I guess my conclusion is that what really matters is that both partners are feeling happy together and are willing to work out the problems that might come up. Have good comunication and not be afraid to talk about any kind of complaint that they might have, not matter how big or small it looks. The thing is to be happy with ourselves, and that way the peopple around us will perceive that same happines.

I know a bunch of people won't agree with me, but beleive me, it works for me. I'm happy. I don't need a man to make me happy, but If I found one who's company would make me feel complemented I would give all my love to him. I'm not afraind to be single nor married.